🔊 That night at dinner I could not eat. I had been that way before from not eating and it was a familiar feeling. I was hungry but the sight of food took my appetite away. I watched the people eat and listened to their talk. The conversation was the same as usual: "Eat, drink, and be merry, for to-morrow we die." I did not want to think about to-morrow. I did not want to think about any of it. I wanted it over with. I wanted it over with quickly. I was eating by rote and not tasting anything.

那晚吃饭时,我一点也吃不下。我过去因节食也曾有过这种感觉,所以并不陌生。我明明饥饿,可一见到食物,胃口就全消了。我看着人们用餐,听着他们交谈。谈话还是老一套:‘吃吧,喝吧,快活吧,反正明天就要死了。’我不愿去想明天。我不愿想任何事。我只想这一切快点结束,赶快结束。我吃饭全凭习惯,食不知味。

🔊

appetite /ˈæpɪtaɪt/

n. 食欲；胃口➕

🔊

rote /roʊt/

n. 机械的方式；死记硬背➕

🔊 After dinner I went up to my room. The room was dark and cool. I lay on the bed and tried to read. I could not read. I could not lie still. I got up and went to the window and looked out. It was dark. I could hear the music from the café across the square. I stood there for a while and then I went back and lay on the bed again. I tried to read. I could not read. I got up and went to the window again. This time I saw Brett. She was coming across the square. She was walking quickly. I watched her come into the hotel. A few minutes later there was a knock on my door.

饭后我上楼回房间去。房间里又暗又凉。我躺在床上想看点书。看不下。我躺不住。我起身走到窗边向外张望。外面一片漆黑。广场对面咖啡馆的音乐声隐隐传来。我在那儿站了一会儿,又回到床边躺下。我试着看书,还是看不进去。我再次起身走到窗前。这回我看见了勃莱特。她正穿过广场走来,步子很快。我看着她走进旅馆。几分钟后,有人敲我的房门。

🔊

café /ˈkæfeɪ/

n. 咖啡馆；小餐馆➕

🔊 "Come in."

“进来。”

🔊 Brett came in. She closed the door and leaned against it.

勃莱特走进来,关上门,背靠着门。

🔊 "Hello, Jake."

“嗨,杰克。”

🔊 "Hello."

“嗨。”

🔊 "Do you mind if I come up?"

“我来找你,不打扰吧？”

🔊 "Of course not."

“当然不。”

🔊 She came over and sat on the bed. She looked tired.

她走过来,坐到床上,一脸倦容。

🔊 "I’m all in," she said.

“我累垮了,”她说。

🔊

all in /ɔːl ɪn/

adj. phrase. 精疲力尽的➕

🔊 "I know how you feel."

“我明白你的感受。”

🔊 "Do you? I wonder."

“是吗？不见得吧。”

🔊 "We’re all in the same boat."

“我们都在一条船上。”

🔊

same boat /seɪm boʊt/

n. phrase. 相同处境；同舟共济➕

🔊 "It’s a rotten boat. I’d like to get out of it."

“是条破船。我真想下去。”

🔊 "You can’t get out of it."

“你下不去的。”

🔊 "I know that. That’s what makes it so rotten."

“我知道。所以才这么糟。”

🔊 She lay back on the bed.

她向后倒在床上。

🔊 "I wish I were dead," she said.

“我巴不得死了算了,”她说。

🔊 "Don’t say that."

“别这么说。”

🔊 "Why not? It’s true. I wish I were dead. I wish we were all dead."

“为什么不？是真的。我巴不得死了。我巴不得我们都死了。”

🔊 "That wouldn’t do any good."

“那也没用。”

🔊 "It would do me some good."

“对我有用。”

🔊 I did not say anything. There was nothing to say.

我没吭声。没什么可说的。

🔊 "Do you want a drink?" I asked.

“你想喝一杯吗？”我问。

🔊 "No. Thanks. I don’t want anything. I just want to lie here."

“不。谢谢。我什么都不要。只想躺在这儿。”

🔊 "All right."

“好吧。”

🔊 I sat in a chair by the window. Brett lay on the bed with her eyes closed. She looked very tired. After a while she opened her eyes and looked at me.

我坐在窗边的椅子上。勃莱特躺在床上,闭着眼睛。她看上去疲惫不堪。过了一会儿,她睁开眼睛看着我。

🔊 "I’m sorry, Jake."

“对不起,杰克。”

🔊 "What for?"

“为什么事？”

🔊 "For everything. For being such a fool."

“为所有的事。为我这么傻。”

🔊 "You’re not a fool."

“你不傻。”

🔊 "Yes, I am. A damn fool."

“不,我傻。傻透了。”

🔊 "We’re all fools."

“我们都傻。”

🔊 "I know it. But I’m a special kind of fool. The kind that makes other people miserable."

“我知道。可我是特别傻的那种。那种让别人都难受的傻瓜。”

🔊 "You don’t make me miserable."

“你没让我难受。”

🔊 "Yes, I do. I make everybody miserable. Mike is miserable. Robert is miserable. You’re miserable."

“不,我让你难受了。我让所有人都难受。迈克难受,罗伯特难受,你也难受。”

🔊 "I’m not miserable."

“我不难受。”

🔊 "Yes, you are. I can see it. You’re miserable because I’m here."

“你难受。我看得出来。你难受是因为我在这儿。”

🔊 "That’s not true."

“不是这样。”

🔊 "It is true. And I’m miserable because I’m here. And Mike is miserable because I’m here. And Robert is miserable because I’m here. We’re all miserable because I’m here. I wish I’d never come."

“就是这样。我难受是因为我在这儿。迈克难受是因为我在这儿。罗伯特难受是因为我在这儿。我们都难受,都是因为我在这儿。我真希望我根本没来。”

🔊

miserable /ˈmɪzrəbl/

adj. 悲惨的；痛苦的➕

🔊 "You had to come. You couldn’t help it."

“你不得不来。你也没办法。”

🔊 "I could have helped it. I could have stayed away. I should have stayed away."

“我有办法。我可以不来。我本该不来的。”

🔊 I did not say anything. There was nothing to say.

我没说话。没什么可说的。

🔊 "What are we going to do, Jake?"

“我们该怎么办,杰克？”

🔊 "I don’t know."

“我不知道。”

🔊 "We can’t go on like this."

“我们不能老这样下去。”

🔊 "No."

“是啊。”

🔊 "What are we going to do?"

“我们该怎么办？”

🔊 "I don’t know."

“我不知道。”

🔊 She sat up on the bed.

她在床上坐起来。

🔊 "We’ve got to do something. We can’t just sit here."

“我们总得做点什么。不能就这么坐着。”

🔊 "What do you want to do?"

“你想做什么？”

🔊 "I don’t know. Something. Anything."

“我不知道。什么都行。随便什么都行。”

🔊 "We could go for a walk."

“我们可以去走走。”

🔊 "It’s too hot."

“太热了。”

🔊 "We could go to the café."

“我们可以去咖啡馆。”

🔊 "I don’t want to see anybody."

“我不想见任何人。”

🔊 "We could stay here."

“我们可以待在这儿。”

🔊 "That’s no good. I can’t stay here. I’ll go crazy."

“那不行。我待不住。我会发疯的。”

🔊 "What do you want to do?"

“那你想做什么？”

🔊 "I want to get drunk. That’s what I want to do. I want to get drunk and stay drunk."

“我想喝醉。对,我就想喝醉,一直醉着。”

🔊 "That’s no good."

“那不行。”

🔊 "It’s better than nothing."

“总比什么也不做强。”

🔊 She stood up.

她站了起来。

🔊 "I’m going to get a drink. Do you want one?"

“我去拿杯酒来。你要一杯吗？”

🔊 "All right."

“好吧。”

🔊 She went out and came back with a bottle of brandy and two glasses.

她出去又回来了,拿着一瓶白兰地和两个杯子。

🔊

brandy /ˈbrændi/

n. 白兰地酒➕

🔊 "I got it from the waiter. He thinks I’m crazy."

“我从侍者那儿拿的。他觉得我疯了。”

🔊 She poured two drinks.

她倒了两杯。

🔊

poured /pɔːrd/

v. 倒（液体）➕

🔊 "Here’s to us," she said.

“为我们干杯,”她说。

🔊 "Here’s to us."

“为我们干杯。”

🔊 We drank.

我们喝了。

🔊 "That’s better," she said. "Now I feel better."

“好多了,”她说。“现在我感觉好多了。”

🔊 She sat down on the bed again.

她又坐回床上。

🔊 "What are we going to do about Mike?"

“迈克的事我们该怎么办？”

🔊 "What about him?"

“他怎么了？”

🔊 "He’s in love with me."

“他爱着我。”

🔊 "I know that."

“这我知道。”

🔊 "What are we going to do?"

“我们该怎么办？”

🔊 "I don’t know. He’ll have to get over it."

“我不知道。他必须自己熬过去。”

🔊

get over /ɡet ˈəʊvə(r)/

v. phr. 克服；从...中恢复➕

🔊 "He won’t get over it. He’ll never get over it."

“他熬不过去的。永远也熬不过去。”

🔊 "He will. He’ll have to."

“他会。他必须熬过去。”

🔊 "I don’t want him to be unhappy."

“我不愿看他难过。”

🔊

unhappy /ʌnˈhæpi/

adj. 不快乐的；不幸的➕

🔊 "He’s unhappy now."

“他现在就很难过。”

🔊 "I know it. That’s what makes it so rotten. I make everybody unhappy."

“我知道。所以才这么糟。我让每个人都难过。”

🔊

rotten /ˈrɒtn/

adj. 腐烂的；糟糕的➕

🔊 "Don’t keep saying that."

“别老说这个。”

🔊 "It’s true. Look at Robert. He’s unhappy."

“这是实话。瞧瞧罗伯特。他很难过。”

🔊 "Robert is always unhappy."

“罗伯特从来就没高兴过。”

🔊 "Not the way he is now. He’s worse now. And it’s my fault."

“不像现在这样。现在更糟了。都是我的错。”

🔊

fault /fɔːlt/

n. 过错；缺点➕

🔊 "It’s not your fault."

“不是你的错。”

🔊 "Yes, it is. If I hadn’t gone to San Sebastian with him he wouldn’t be like this."

“是我的错。如果我没和他一起去圣塞巴斯蒂安,他就不会变成这样。”

🔊 "He’d be like this anyway. He’s always been like this."

“他反正也会这样的。他一向如此。”

🔊 "No, he hasn’t. He was all right until I came along."

“不,他不是。在我出现之前,他好好的。”

🔊 "He was not all right. He was always like this."

“他不好。他一直都这样。”

🔊 "You don’t understand."

“你不明白。”

🔊 "I understand perfectly."

“我明白得很。”

🔊 "No, you don’t. You don’t know what it’s like to be in love with me."

“不,你不明白。你不知道爱上我是什么滋味。”

🔊 "I think I do."

“我想我知道。”

🔊 "You don’t. You can’t. Nobody can. It’s hell. I’m hell."

“你不知道。你不可能知道。谁都不可能知道。那是地狱。我就是地狱。”

🔊 "You’re not hell."

“你不是地狱。”

🔊 "I am. I’m hell for anybody that’s in love with me."

“我是。对任何爱上我的人来说,我就是地狱。”

🔊 We drank some more brandy.

我们又喝了些白兰地。

🔊 "I wish I were a man," Brett said.

“我巴不得是个男人,”勃莱特说。

🔊 "Why?"

“为什么？”

🔊 "Then I wouldn’t be like this. I’d be all right."

“那样我就不会这样了。我就正常了。”

🔊 "You’re all right now."

“你现在就很好。”

🔊 "No, I’m not. I’m all wrong. I’m all wrong for anybody."

“不,我不好。我很糟。对谁来说我都很糟。”

🔊 "You’re not."

“你不糟。”

🔊 "I am. I’m no good for you. I’m no good for Mike. I’m no good for Robert. I’m no good for anybody."

“我糟。我对你不好。我对迈克不好。我对罗伯特不好。我对谁都不好。”

🔊 "You’re good for me."

“你对我好。”

🔊 "No, I’m not. I’m bad for you. I’m bad for everybody."

“不,我不好。我对你不好。我对所有人都不好。”

🔊 "Don’t say that."

“别这么说。”

🔊 "It’s true. I know it’s true. I’ve always known it. I’ve just never admitted it before."

“这是真的。我知道是真的。我一直都知道,只是以前从不承认。”

🔊 She finished her drink and poured another.

她喝完酒,又倒了一杯。

🔊 "I’m going to get drunk," she said. "Then I won’t have to think about it."

“我要喝醉,”她说。“这样我就不用去想它了。”

🔊 I finished my drink and she poured me another.

我喝完我的酒,她又给我倒了一杯。

🔊 "We’ll both get drunk," she said. "Then we won’t have to think about anything."

“我们一起喝醉吧,”她说。“这样我们就什么也不用想了。”

🔊 We drank. After a while Brett began to cry.

我们喝着。过了一会儿,勃莱特开始哭起来。

🔊 "I’m sorry," she said. "I didn’t mean to do that."

“对不起,”她说。“我不是故意的。”

🔊 "It’s all right."

“没关系。”

🔊 "No, it’s not. I’m a fool."

“不,有关系。我是个傻瓜。”

🔊 "You’re not a fool."

“你不是傻瓜。”

🔊 "Yes, I am. I’m a crying fool. I hate crying fools."

“我是。我是个爱哭的傻瓜。我最恨爱哭的傻瓜。”

🔊 "Everybody cries."

“是人都会哭。”

🔊 "I don’t. I never cry. I don’t know what’s the matter with me."

“我不会。我从来不哭。我不知道自己这是怎么了。”

🔊 "You’re tired."

“你累了。”

🔊 "I’m not tired. I’m drunk. That’s what’s the matter with me. I’m drunk and I’m crying. What a combination."

“我不累。我醉了。我是喝醉了才哭的。这算什么搭配。”

🔊

combination /ˌkɒmbɪˈneɪʃn/

n. 组合,结合；联合体➕

🔊 She wiped her eyes.

她擦擦眼睛。

🔊 "I’m sorry, Jake. I didn’t mean to make a scene."

“对不起,杰克。我没想闹笑话。”

🔊

scene /siːn/

n. 场景；场面；（尤指当众的）吵闹,发脾气➕

🔊 "You didn’t make a scene."

“你没闹笑话。”

🔊 "Yes, I did. I made a damn fool of myself."

“我闹了。我把自己弄得像个小丑。”

🔊

damn /dæm/

adj./adv. 该死的；十足的（表示强调或厌烦）；非常➕

🔊 "You didn’t."

“你没有。”

🔊 "I did. And I’m going to do it again if I don’t stop drinking."

“我闹了。我要是不停杯,还得再闹一次。”

🔊 She put her glass down.

她放下杯子。

🔊 "I’m not going to drink any more."

“我不喝了。”

🔊 "That’s a good idea."

“这是个好主意。”

🔊 "I mean it. I’m not going to drink any more. I’m going to stop. Right now."

“我说真的。我一口也不喝了。我要戒酒。就现在。”

🔊 "All right."

“好吧。”

🔊 "You don’t believe me."

“你不信我。”

🔊 "Yes, I do."

“我信。”

🔊 "You don’t. You think I’ll start again in a minute."

“你不信。你觉得我过一分钟又会开始喝。”

🔊 "No, I don’t."

“不,我不觉得。”

🔊 "Yes, you do. And you’re right. I will start again. I always do. But not to-night. To-night I’m going to stop."

“你就是这样想的。你说得对。我会再喝的。我总是这样。但不是今晚。今晚我要戒了。”

🔊 "All right."

“好吧。”

🔊 "I mean it. I’m going to bed. I’m going to sleep. And when I wake up I’ll be all right."

“我说真的。我要去睡了。我要睡觉。等我睡醒,一切就都好了。”

🔊 "That’s fine."

“那很好。”

🔊 "You think I won’t do it."

“你以为我做不到。”

🔊 "I think you will."

“我相信你做得到。”

🔊 "I will. You’ll see. Good night, Jake."

“我做得到。你等着瞧。晚安,杰克。”

🔊 "Good night, Brett."

“晚安,勃莱特。”

🔊 She stood up and kissed me. Then she went out. I heard her door close. I sat there for a while and finished my drink. Then I went to bed.

她站起来,吻了我一下,然后走了出去。我听见她关门的声音。我在那儿坐了一会儿,喝完我的酒,然后也上床睡了。

Chapter eighteen (第十八章)

🔒 使用该功能需要授权码